Ethan Ryan

An Art History Professor Explains to His 4-Year-Old Daughter Why the Fair Market Value of Her Picture Is Actually Far Less Than That of a Thousand Words
Razed (republished)

Answers to Rhetorical Questions Posed by Movie Titles
McSweeney’s

I Believe in Everything
Thought Catalog

Some Advice To Men Who Are Going Bald
Thought Catalog

“It Is What It Is” Is a Stupid Expression
The Fiddleback

lowercase is cool
Thought Catalog

Jack
[self-published]

Little Known Facts About Fictional Doctors
Feathertale

Sleepwalking Is Crazy
Thought Catalog

God, Devil, Google
We Who Are About To Die

My Face on the Internet
Thought Catalog

Halloween
Titular

Why Clowns Are Scary
Thought Catalog

Never Say Etcetera
Wigleaf

Dear Wigleaf
Wigleaf

Robot Dinosaur Magazine Submission Guidelines
Feathertale

Switcheroo
Monkeybicycle

Mr. Artichoke Eats Monday
(A Bookmark Contest Finalist)
Opium Magazine

Neurotica
Opium Magazine

The 5 Most Ineffective Anti-Drug PSAs of All Time
Cracked

8 Important Lessons Learned from ’80s Cartoons
Cracked

An Art History Professor Explains to His 4-Year-Old Daughter Why the Fair Market Value of Her Picture Is Actually Far Less Than That of a Thousand Words
McSweeney’s